Did you ever loose a friend? I did and I want to talk about 2 lost friends in particular.
One is a “no way back” way of losing a friend, as he is no longer with us on this earth. Because he decided to step out of this live. He was not the first I knew that I lost this way, but this time I was not that angry as I was the first time, I was sad. Sad as I did not see it coming. He was a friend since some years. Not a friend I new forever. Losing this friend, being pregnant of my second daughter was difficult, very difficult. I really wanted him to stay part of my life, our life, forever. I am so sure he would have been such a great friend to both of my girls. He was such a joyful person, so funny so bright. I did not see it coming. That hurts. He did not meet my second little one, that hurts also. I know he is a star, he was a star before he left, to early and I think of him very often. We all do as we al stayed friends and have very special bond together that we keep intact also because of him. Or not because of him but thanks to him as he is the one that brought is together, we will always remember. Moatje!
The second friend I lost was different. She is still with us on this planet. I hope she is happy, I am sure she is. Sometimes it hurts to know she is happy, happy without me as her friend. Because we said it was forever. But it wasn’t. It is over. I cannot really explain why it is over, but it is, I accept it is over. Because sometimes paths go a different way and apparently some friendships cannot handle. It is a pity, maybe, but it is. I accept that, I do not point a finger but remember the friendship as it once was, true and honest, and we had so much fun, we had so many secrets. These memories are with us forever, in our hearts.
But I met so many people afterwards, that are friends right now, friends forever, at least that’s how it feels to me. That’s what I want them to be…although I already now stuff happens, and when you lose a friend, that is it, than you have to get over it and move on. Not much you can do about it, mourning is not going to get you any further.
Because no matter what happens, if you feel it is forever, this is truly what you feel. And believe me if one day forever ends in friendship, even more beautiful friendships are waiting for you behind every corner.
As long as you decide to be a real friend yourself, an honest friend, a true friend, willing to give, willing to listen and to be there night and day for fun and for sadness. In good and bad times. There is not more you can do. Be yourself and let them be themselves.
And most importantly: be a friend to yourself, at least that is a friend they will never take away from you.