Emptiness was the feeling I had some weeks ago at night. I thought it was because I was training intensively throughout the whole week and weekend and maybe a bit tired of some days of intensive work (maybe also had too much wine the night before)
It felt indeed like a hangover but I would rather use the word: empty.
For days I was wondering what made me feel this way and today it hit me: I realized where it came from, that feeling of emptiness, or even sickness
And before sharing it with you, it's not a nice story.
On the morning of that day I had a meeting with one of the teams I am in. When she entered that young, dynamic girl, the first thing I noticed was her beautiful dark curly very long hair, last time I met her she had her hair in a bun. I was so impressed and felt as if I wanted to touch her hair to feel it. But we are not allowed to touch people that are not in our bubble, because of this fucking virus.
But then I saw her face. Even after hours of make-up you could see the bruises and the redness of her eye that was injured and that she almost lost.
A crazy man, known by the police, aggressed her on the street and it was very clear that he really hit her hard. Because he wanted to take her expensive purse most probably. The guy got trained in the military they told her. I cannot imagine that people can become that violent without a reason. Was it about the purse, I do not even care, the only thing I really wanted to do is hold her in my arms, even though we do not know each other since a long time and we only met once before. But again the fucking virus does not allow us to touch people that are not in our bubble.
She was still in shock and didn’t want to talk about the incident as it was very hard for her to put words on her feelings after this incredible violent event.
Feelings that will never leave her memory. I realize that without really noticing I have sent her all the energy that I had left in my body as energy and courage is what she is going to need.
If only violent people would learn from this virus that you should not hit people, not those in your bubble and not those outside your bubble…than at least the virus would have had a positive side-effect.
But that will not happy, the violence is higher than ever, on the streets, in the houses after closed doors.
Empty…but let’s hope that my energy helps her to cope