Suyin Aerts
November 19, 2021

Proud but scared

A special moment today. When something you dream about since a very long team becomes reality it also feels a bit scary. When you hope this will be a huge success but than you think: wow what if this really happens, what if this turns out to be a victory? Will I be able to handle ?

Am I already allowed to feel proud, or should I rather feel relieved these first steps were some steps in the right directions?

Feelings can play tricks, ….

I think we have the right to be proud already, no matter if it will be a success. In the coming days I will get ready for different scenarios…

Critics are always a mix: some might be good, some great and some might also be bad. I have gone true this before. If I was able to handle being 20 years younger I suppose I am stronger now? Or am I much more vulnerable today ? I am not sure…

I know that when I get into a spotlight with what I do, I always need to be super ready for anything that might happen. Ready for the lights in your eyes making it impossible to see the audience, for the light to get stronger than you planned for but also for the spotlight to fade away before you expect it. It should touch my heart and not break it.

Being in the media myself I know that not everybody is supposed to love what you do, not everyone will like you. But the road so far with my amazing partner for this crime was fantastic. So that is already something to be proud of. It gave us a special bond for the rest of our lives and I will not accept anything or anyone come in between, let that be clear!

We can always make a big fire and cry together of the success that did not follow. We will have enough paper, but it could also be the scarcity of paper that will be the issue. Time will tell, for now I am proud (and a bit scared)

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