I am training to run the half marathon in Amsterdam in October after some crazy, stupid and hateful injuries the past years. I cannot believe it was already 2 years ago that I was training like crazy for Roc du Maroc but broke my hand with a spectacular bicycle fall.
I am not a pussy, I got up and believed I would make it to the start about 8 weeks later, training with my arm in a cast on my indoor bike, completely wasting myself out, but feeling as if I was getting my teeth into it as deep as I could, knowing that logically things might not be able to work out, but sometimes you need to believe in your superwoman powers.
I convinced my fantastic doctor that my mental state was the one of a champion, an ex-topsorter, that had gone through true things before. I could do it again.
When I was not able to hold the handlebar of my bike about 3 weeks before the race, I had to face the truth, I never trained the +100 km a day for at least 3 consecutive days as we had on the planning, I did not train how I would handle the drinks, the food, and maybe more importantly I never did this kind of raids before. Let me also not forget to mention I am under blood liquefiers, so my hematologist told me: if you are sure to be technically almost perfect and your risk of falling is really under 5% you can participate if not,….
I had to accept the hard truth: I was not(yet) technically perfect, I was not (yet)handling my speed as I should have. Maybe the universe wanted to warn me that this kind of mountain bike race with my ‘disease’ is maybe a mile too far.
It was considered to be our honeymoon, my husband asked me to go on this adventure, I wanted to prove to my fresh husband(my boyfriend of 2 decades) I was not a pussy so I said yes.
That sounds really bad: proving to your husband you are not a pussy…OMG I am terrible but I guess authentic words should not be taken away.
But now it is only a half marathon, it should be easy peasy, hard to fall and really hurt myself and bleed to death. So for now it was about getting back in shape(while running).
I have been a good girl listening to my trainer and his plan. Never doing less and more importantly never doing more. Coaches know (at least the good ones) what they are doing, and I trust mine and the whole Gram team around him. And I must say so far so good, or maybe not really….
I would actually like to lose some extra kilos, because now I am running with a backpack of about 5 to 10 kilos. Discipline, more discipline ahead I guess.
But what if I could run a better time then 10 years ago, the last time I ran this half marathon?
Never stop aiming , never stop dreaming, if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger.