For my book ‘10 Quintessential Questions” I had the chance to talk to 21 beautiful individuals. During one of the interviews Daria & Jasmina, mother and daughter, talked about the fact that we too often fear talking to strangers. I could not agree more.
During my keynotes I often talk about the importance of curiosity, how too often we tell our children not to be so curious, to stop asking questions all the time, and the same goes how we teach them never to talk with strangers.
I believe it is good we teach children the danger of trust, but we may not forget to also teach them the beauty of the trust we should have in other human beings.
I often smile at people, when I am walking the dog, taking a train, in an airport, a shop,…and it is funny how you have 2 kinds of reactions, those who smile back and those looking at you with fear in their eyes.
I like to chat with strangers as well. Even if it is for a brief moment, people can be very inspirational. It is great to find more about someone you do not know. It makes you understand that all humans are equal and yet so different, how every person has a story, an education, a culture, an experience, dreams, fears and challenges.
I also try to treat every human being with the same respect and it is true that when we meet someone in a certain function we often see the function first, I think we should try to look behind the function.
When someone looks different because of their make-up, hair, clothes we very often have a first impression, that’s normal. We also are drawn more towards people that look like our copycats.
But talking to someone that is different gives you new perspectives.
I have the feeling that when I walk around in a city and smile it is good for my mood and taking time for that chat has a great impact, not only on the people but also giving me more confidence to socialize and converse with people.
But we have to sense the situation also because sometimes people have a reason not to start the chat, not even seeing your smile, do not take it personal as they might be on something. I would encourage you to read the situation correctly. People don’t usually mind talking, and generally appreciate it — but be mindful if you are bothering them when they are super busy, managing children, or just appear upset or in a bad mood in general.
If they remain closed off after the initial interaction, perhaps find an easy way to move along, do not stay in the feeling of rejection. Because let’s face it the most common fear is exactly this — that you will be rejected.
Don’t overthink it. If you are curious to learn something, ask the person a question (within means).
Smile and seem genuinely interested. You’ll make them happy, and yourself happier just by doing it.
