Valentine’s Day is often filled with love stories, but today, I want to talk about a story that is too often overlooked: the journey of couples without children. This past week, I met a woman who wrote a book about her experience as a non-mother and how it shaped her relationships with those around her—many of whom had children. Her story stayed with me, not just because of its honesty but because it made me reflect on my own experiences.
I remembered a friendship that changed—perhaps even faded—when I became a mother. Did I change? Did my friend? Or was it simply that life took us in different directions? Parenthood shifts priorities, conversations, even social circles, often unintentionally. And yet, what struck me most from our conversation was the realization that everyone carries a story about children—whether they have them or not.
We rarely stop to think about how the world is designed for families with children, how conversations naturally flow toward parenting, how unspoken expectations linger in the air. And sometimes, without realizing it, we fail to fully see those whose paths look different. We ask questions without considering the weight they might carry: When will you have kids? Do you regret not having them? But do we ever ask ourselves if we would be comfortable answering those same questions?
This brings me back to something I deeply believe in—something I also wrote about in my book: we should never ask others questions that we aren’t willing to answer ourselves. Every story, every journey, deserves the same level of respect and curiosity, without assumption or judgment.
So today, on a day that celebrates love in all its forms, let’s remember to also celebrate understanding. Because in the end, love is not just about the connections we build, but the space we create for others to be fully seen.
