We all have them, the boundaries, values, and lines we won’t cross. Or at least, we should have them. In my book 10 Quintessential Questions, I wrote about the importance of knowing your non-negotiables. But let’s be honest: how often do we truly pause to define them?
The thing about non-negotiables is that they often live in the background, silently guiding our decisions without us being fully aware of them. Until suddenly, we’re forced to articulate them, in a conflict, in a hiring process, in a partnership, in a moment of doubt. Then we realize: Oh, this really matters to me.
But here’s the nuance : non-negotiables aren’t always static. Life changes. We change. What was once a firm line might become a flexible edge. And the other way around: what used to be fluid might turn into a rock-solid no-go.
This dance between knowing when to stand firm and when to bend is especially visible in entrepreneurship. I’ve noticed a difference between negotiating when you're spending your own money versus someone else's. When you’re the one signing the cheque, there’s an added layer of responsibility, but also more clarity. The risk feels personal, so the values behind the decision feel personal too. You tend to guard your principles more fiercely and you’re more conscious of the trade-offs.
And yet, negotiation is part of growth. Whether you're leading a team, working with partners, or developing a business, the ability to listen, to find middle ground, and to remain open to a shifting context is key. Sticking to your non-negotiables should never mean refusing to evolve.
So maybe the real power lies in knowing the difference between a non-negotiable and a preference. Between a value and an ego-driven reaction. Between fear and principle.
When should you stick to your non-negotiables?
I think only when you’ve first taken the time to define them and when you’re brave enough to question them, too.
